Wednesday, December 28, 2011


california's coming up. i'm about to make some calls to find out if i can meet with some people on campus at the school i really want to attend in the san francisco area. if i can make it work, the visit will happen in mid-january. i'll need it-- i'm feeling the wear and tear of constant gray skies. i'm also not working very much next month, so i need something to take up my time and get me out of the house, out of the town, out of the state, before i lose track of time and just sit around spending the days being morose. even if i were working more, i'd need this. i need this.

on a less desperate note, i just found a blouse that must have belonged to my mother that she clearly doesn't wear anymore. now it's mine. the lace collar is so heinous that it ends up being wonderful, and i love it. i've also just spent some of my gift card money on some new clothes, and i'm about to go search for a new year's dress that i can possibly alter later for something more casual. some people don't quite understand it: clothing is one of my many media. it is pencil, paint, and ink. i love shopping for clothes to combine using my body as a canvas. styling is a creative outlet.

hype me here.

music: soft shock (acoustic) -yeah yeah yeahs

Sunday, December 25, 2011

christmas and the putz.

my father walks our dog around the neighborhood all the time. recently, nativity scenes have cropped up in people's yards-- giant mary, joseph, and sheep figures my border collie needs to bark at because he just can't grasp the meaning of it all. coming from german pennsylvanians, my family's nativity scene is a bit different. the figures are of all different sizes, everything is indoors, and the collection spans nearly half a room.
it's called the putz.

my family's putz is compiled from different generations' travels and purchases, with recent additions from my brother's stay in indonesia and my stays in costa rica and japan. from the german word 'putzen,' to decorate, the putz is the richest christmas tradition in my family, something that brings everyone together. there are delicate, cracked antique townsmen to newly painted little houses. there is a desert, a village, a countryside, and the famous little baby swaddled up underneath angels and a moravian star. it's a tradition for the patient and the creative and for every age, and it's one of my favorite parts of the season.

i was glad to give my gifts today, but i was also pleasantly surprised to find that the packages under the balsam fir tree were really well suited to me. i received a ganesh figurine, a free people thermal, a cloche, and lots of books. the books below are going to inspire my heart through the roof. i can't wait to draw.

at 8:30 tonight, my brother flies in from north carolina, so the family will be together for christmas, much unlike last year. we've gotten along thus far, so i'd like to think that the good feelings will continue through the holidays.

just wait for posts about new year's-- i'm entirely wound up for it! happy holidays to everyone!

music: inní mér syngur vitleysyngur -sigur rós

Sunday, December 18, 2011

market find.

i went to a flea market during the summer and found a skull split down the jaw that i bought for drawing. here's my latest take.

not the most festive entry in the world, but all in time!

music: anthem for a seventeen-year-old girl -broken social scene
drawing: broken skull, 14"h x 17" w

Friday, December 16, 2011

a hazy bit of sunshine.

i have some long hours of work tonight i want to just get past, but i'm going for a run first, and i'm currently in bed, listening to some good music, and drinking a delicious vegan frappuccino. that fixes anything and everything. also, the sun's pretending to be out, and the forecast says it will really be out on sunday, so there's something to look forward to.

i've decided i'm going to go somewhere away from this town as soon as possible. full plans are pending.

blouse, forever21; bra and skirt, american apparel; socks, ragstock; shoes, dsw; bracelet, vintage; ring, vagabond imports.

music: the only living boy in new york -simon&garfunkel

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

awake today.

this is voodoo. he is just over two months old, and he is my responsibility, my baby. i started out this past spring barely able to focus on watching a whole movie, and now i have a job and a thriving baby snake who just shed his skin and who loves to curl up around my fingers.
my fingers, incidentally, are my favorite part of me. i used to have such a hate for my entire body, but i began to have parts that i love, and now i'm feeling more and more comfortable on the whole with my entire self. i can walk outside, socialize, and dance. i can love my long, piano-playing fingers.

there's so much to love in this world about everything. i have to keep remembering.

music: we have love -hot chip

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

a very ugly christmas.

ugly christmas sweaters now available at ragstock!
check out the sweater store link on the page for loads of sweaters or, if you're in the midwest u.s., hit up your local store for some kitschy goodness.

i already have three. i'm obsessed.

stay tuned for more shots by jw photography.

music: see no evil -rem

Friday, December 2, 2011

new cold day.

getting dressed is not simply a way for me to cover myself up-- it's one of my main creative outlets. i feel squelched lately, creatively, emotionally, mentally, and even getting dressed properly has felt like a struggle for me. so many people view clothing catalogues as pamphlets filled with nothing but adverts for items they might be able to afford. i rarely even look at prices. i admire separates, but i use the catalogues as inspiration far over anything else. getting a packet of catalogues in the mail is essentially as good as getting a pair of beautifully made louboutins, a vintage sequin dress, or a new sketchbook. it helps me look at my own clothes, makeup, and jewelry-- the Paints and Crayons for my body-- in a different way.
at some point, i know i want to style for catalogues and magazines. i want to be the inspiration. in the meantime, i'm struggling in and out of these creative potholes. i just want to look upwards and actually move upwards, too.

click each for larger images,
and click here to support me on lookbook. just hit the hype button!

music: miss you -foster the people

Thursday, December 1, 2011

the static wing.

i've been spending a lot of time away from the flow of life for health reasons, but i'm trying to bounce back. worries-- legitimate worries, not just pure anxiety-- have been holding me back from living my own life out properly, especially as issues that normally just concern people tend to wrench my heart out.

i finally finished a small drawing of one of the sparrow wings sitting on my desk. it's probably one of the more meditative pieces i've done-- it's detailed and lets me slide into the waters of robotic observation. i don't have to think. i just Do.

there are several new aspects of my life that currently distress me deeply; however, i'm trying to take the next couple of days to simply float. i have an upcoming photoshoot, and i'm determined to dive back into work headfirst. i need rest. unfortunately, my brain tells me the best thing to do to recharge is to sleep through everything, and i've listened to it thus far, but maybe i'll be able to get out for a run tomorrow, or maybe i'll watch a movie. pleasurable activities for some are immense challenges for me. getting through a book is difficult. my mind wanders, and i get concerned and sad. my brain just tells me to get numb.

i can't do that, though-- not this winter. at least, i can't do it this early in the winter.
i think this drawing is a fair representation of where i'm standing. i'm looking at, obsessing over, and drawing what i want: wings to fly, to move. right now, i want to go somewhere. anywhere. the sad part is, the wing i draw is unusable. i hope that doesn't say anything about where i'm going in the near future.

stay tuned for some street fashion and featured photographers.

music: minnesota, wi -bon iver
drawing: sparrow wing, 4"h x 3"w