Thursday, December 1, 2011

the static wing.

i've been spending a lot of time away from the flow of life for health reasons, but i'm trying to bounce back. worries-- legitimate worries, not just pure anxiety-- have been holding me back from living my own life out properly, especially as issues that normally just concern people tend to wrench my heart out.

i finally finished a small drawing of one of the sparrow wings sitting on my desk. it's probably one of the more meditative pieces i've done-- it's detailed and lets me slide into the waters of robotic observation. i don't have to think. i just Do.

there are several new aspects of my life that currently distress me deeply; however, i'm trying to take the next couple of days to simply float. i have an upcoming photoshoot, and i'm determined to dive back into work headfirst. i need rest. unfortunately, my brain tells me the best thing to do to recharge is to sleep through everything, and i've listened to it thus far, but maybe i'll be able to get out for a run tomorrow, or maybe i'll watch a movie. pleasurable activities for some are immense challenges for me. getting through a book is difficult. my mind wanders, and i get concerned and sad. my brain just tells me to get numb.

i can't do that, though-- not this winter. at least, i can't do it this early in the winter.
i think this drawing is a fair representation of where i'm standing. i'm looking at, obsessing over, and drawing what i want: wings to fly, to move. right now, i want to go somewhere. anywhere. the sad part is, the wing i draw is unusable. i hope that doesn't say anything about where i'm going in the near future.

stay tuned for some street fashion and featured photographers.

music: minnesota, wi -bon iver
drawing: sparrow wing, 4"h x 3"w

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