after a couple of hours of writing, i've come up with the first draft of my application essay. i've also decided that i'm going to apply for the fall semester of this year. maybe i can make it in. if i do, i can enhance my current projects with access to the school's technology.
in the past three and half years, i've never been more healthy. i feel my spine getting stronger.
not only did i get to experience the school i want to go to and confirm that i do actually want to go there, i got to taste the wonders of san francisco. despite the advice to go to coit tower for a view of the city, i wandered around the haight district in search of vintage clothing shops-- of which i found great choices-- until i found buena vista park. as pictured above, there were enormous trees that pointed upwards to a beautiful view. the clear day allowed for an eyeful that led all the way out to the golden gate bridge and beyond. i discovered the mission district, galleries and museums, and more. i love traveling and figuring out things on my own.
as for school, i've found that i'm probably going to have to wait a year and a half before i have a chance to attend classes. in order to have full chances at scholarships, i would have to apply within the next two weeks, and with my plans for my portfolio, i don't have the time to create what i want. in meeting with an advisor, i was told that i can do what i need, but i want to do more than that. i want to do my best, not what the school might expect. therefore, i'll have to wait, but i want to try to move out in this direction before going to school here. i love this place. i can't spend another winter in wisconsin; it isn't happening.
i'd write about it all, but for the next forty-eight hours, i'm going to be jam-packing my time with as much San Francisco as possible. more to come soon!
i'm doing it: i'm leaving saturday night for san francisco.
i'll be getting out of this world and absorbing what might be a huge part of my future,
and i'll be catching some sunbeams in the meantime.
it's difficult to believe i'll be missing people from around here very much when i'll be gone for so short a time-- and when i could be gone for so much more-- but i realized some of my roots have dug deeply into this frozen ground. transplanting's just a part of Growing Up, i know. i've been flailing around with maturing and going to school, but i think i can move myself somewhere and still show everyone here how much i love them. there are so many more challenges in going to college than i used to picture.
i have less than two weeks until i leave for san francisco, and i'm getting all sorts of opinions as to where i should go once i've toured my possible future school campuses. i just sent off a message to an undergraduate administrator so i can be more specifically in touch with someone once i'm there, and my father sent off a message to a friend of his so we can go out to the countryside during some of our free time.
i'm feeling braver by the minute, and i'm simultaneously terrified-- every time i stop to focus on what exactly i'm doing, i work myself up and mentally exhaust every possibility that could go wrong without even knowing what could happen in the first place. It's Just Anxiety, i tell myself, but it's hard to make just those words stop a panic attack. i've been told so much recently that i'm a tough girl. i don't know if They see what i see. i'm putting up a tough front, anyway.
it's a fresh, new year with some fresh, new sparks. new thoughts for projects, style, and life plans. i'm starting with some new garments and recently acquired albums to perk up the blustery, cold atmosphere surrounding my little gray house. bombay bicycle club is the band that's propelling my creativity as of late, its summery, laid-back flow allowing the storm cloud above my head to disperse. i'm leaving for california in two weeks, and i couldn't be more excited. more on that and new year's resolutions later.